Tundra

So... my last couple of days in the orifice. 09:50 am and so far today is proving ridiculously eventful. For example, I didn't just run for the bus this morning. Being of such adventurous and spontaneous nature I decided mid-stride that i'd push the boat out and ended up managing to both run and consume a breakfast muffin simultaneously. I kid you not.

Then, we met Gina at the traffic lights outside Mackie D's. More importantly, we met Gina at the traffic lights outside Mackie D's brandishing a bag of cookies!! So you see, there should be much cause for excitement.

But, unfortunately, there is rather more cause for stress. My National Express coach e-ticket to London is lying dociley black and white on the desk beside me, freshly printed (no doubt to be lost and re-printed several times over the next few days!) but instead of being a beacon of hope amidst the AOM's and insurance update forms that stubbornly refuse to disappear, it is more like a flashing red warning with an over active foghorn attached:

"YOU ARE NOT READY!!!!"

Dammit. I don't know where the time's gone. Whether it's genuine disorganisation or just a total inability (unwillingness?) to accept the fact i actually have to leave in four days, the fact remains that i still have f!@* loads to do, and not near as much money as i'd like to have before flying half way round the world.

Deep breaths.... count to ten. Ok, count to twenty. Ah, now i understand the advantage of blogging. Try tearing up a computer screen in rage!

Do excuse my overuse of elypsises (pfffftttthhh try saying that without sounding pretty ridiculous!) I like them... i think they reflect the natural pattern of speech. Or the pattern of my speech anyway... which may not be that natural.

Hmmm... any attempt to sound wise and whimsical has somewhat b*****ed off and left me in exchange for a pint down the local and some trash TV. That leaves just me then. Yep, just me. More rabbit in the headlights than pioneering backpacker. Did you know that in america they don't say 'rabbit' they say 'deer'? I find that somehow interesting though i haven't decided why yet.

Well, i may as well give as full an impression as possible of my trials and tribulations during my last hours as an honorary bristolian. Please find main reasons for stress listed below, in a rough order of priority:

• My work trousers give me a terrible wedgie (ok ok, ignore that one)


• Don't know what's going to happen to me and Jack


• Think i'm going to miss him really badly


• Dreading the thought of him missing me too


• Don't know if my kit will be warm enough


• Don't know if my kit will fit in my bag


• Don't know if my bag will fit me


• Don't want to walk round in my expedition gear attracting thieves like moths to light, but i also don't want to weigh myself down with casual clothes that blend in


• Haven't packed up my room


• Got no money


• Worried i'm going to be too disorganised to say proper goodbyes to people. I had visions of meaningful gifts and parting words!


• Done NO training (other than late night sojourns up Gloucester road)


• Haven't booked a place to stay in Buenos Aires (not a major worry)


• What the hell do you do about deoderant whilst camping on a glacier? Surely they all freeze!


• Really don't want the other guys on the expedition to be rich kids whose parents paid for them to go...


• Think i sound like a miserable cow now!

Well if i was expecting closure after that rant i am sorely disappointed.